Daniel Goleman shares some crucial lessons in his book Emotional Intelligence; Why It can matter more than IQ

The Emotional Intelligence; Why It can matter more than IQ by famous American Author Daniel Goleman is a 1995 book based on the importance of Emotional Intelligence as IQ for success, including in academic, professional, social, and interpersonal aspects of one’s life. Goleman mentioned that emotional intelligence is a skill that can be taught and cultivated and outlined methods for incorporating emotional skills training into the school curriculum. Daniel Goleman explained some of the critical lessons of Emotional Intelligence that one should apply in his book.

1. Rational and Emotional.
The book Emotional Intelligence explains that there are two different bits of intelligence. Throughout our lives, we make decisions by being influenced by these two types of intelligence. Who we are, what we do, and our reactions depend entirely on it. The underlying reason for our clever actions or irrational but feel-good behaviours depends on these two types of intelligence.

2. IQ Isn’t As Important As We Think
IQ can’t get you beyond being a good employee. It makes you graduate from school but can’t find a job. When you go to the job interview, your diploma cannot answer the questions during the interview. It would help if one communicated well with the person who will hire you. It all depends on your emotional intelligence.

3. Areas of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence drives our motivation, awareness, empathy, and relationships. They’re all interconnected; if you’re bad at one, you’re more likely to be bad at the others.

4. The Emotional Brain Is Stronger
The outer upper part of our brain is where we make rational decisions, while the lower part is where we make emotional decisions. No matter how reasonable we appear, we can easily be deceived by the emotional brain. We can find excuses to trick the rational brain into doing what the emotional brain wants.

5. Others’ Feelings
Thanks to our empathy, we can truly understand how others are feeling. There would be incredible chaos if we could not distinguish between happy and angry people. Beyond these two primary emotions, we must develop an ability to empathize. In the absence of empathy, our communication aspect is affected very badly.

6. Motivation
Our motivation, which enables us to endure the problems we face for a long time, is also a product of emotional intelligence. We can convince ourselves that we can solve problems. We can remain optimistic and have hope for the future.

7. Awareness
One of the most challenging aspects of development is our awareness. We must practice understanding how we genuinely feel. We must ask ourselves questions. We must listen to ourselves.

8. Relationships
Relationships cannot be let go. It must be managed. This requires mutual tolerance and understanding. If you know how to resolve conflicts, it turns into a happy relationship for both parties.

9. Negative and Positive Emotions
Our emotions change every moment, but the longer negative emotions stay, the more negatively they affect our lives. It prevents us from being successful in our work and relationships. Fortunately, these feelings are not difficult to change. You can learn to turn negative emotions into positive ones.

10. Productivity
When your emotional intelligence gets stronger, your creativity starts to increase. Regardless of your field of work, you will begin to see severe differences in your productivity. It will improve your performance. Longer hours allow you to work with the same efficiency.

11. Emotional Intelligence Is The Key To Success
Since we cannot live independently of our emotions, the higher our emotional intelligence, the higher our quality of life will be. We know that successful managers are experts in managing their emotional intelligence. You can also take them as an example.

12. Leadership
A commander cannot direct an entire army by saying, “We are going to war”. You can’t manage a team by just saying what to do. You need to understand your team’s current feelings and level of motivation. It would be helpful if one encouraged them to work. You have to use your emotional intelligence for all of these.

13. Teams
Average talent teams that get along well with each other are more productive than talented teams that don’t get along. It doesn’t matter how well a team with low emotional intelligence is in control of the numbers. They can’t even decide what to try to do.

14. Stress
Difficulties at work and in our relationships put us under stress. Stress makes it difficult for us to find solutions to problems. When we can’t find answers to problems, we get more stressed. One must know how to manage stressful situations to eliminate this dead end.

15. Marriage
The secret of long and happy marriages is sincerity in your feelings. If your wedding were not built on this basis of intimacy from the very beginning, it would begin to crack over the years. Even minor problems become unsolvable. You have to be emotionally open at the beginning of the road.

16. Leadership
Leadership does not mean dominance. You are leading your colleagues to a common goal and making them believe in the reality of this purpose. Successful leaders can keep their team’s motivation alive for many years. You have to make them desire the work to be done.

17. Emotions Are All Normal
Anger, hatred, love, happiness… You can understand when and under what circumstances these feelings will emerge by following yourself. Depending on how you interpret the events you encounter, you may have these feelings. The most crucial thing is to react independently of your feelings. You may find yourself making promises you cannot keep because you are happy, or you may resort to violence when angry.

18. Being able to Express Your Emotions
Not everyone’s level of empathy can be excellent. You may be in a problematic situation immediately. You may feel bad, but people may not understand it. In these situations, you may need to express your feelings more directly.

19. You Are Not Your Emotions
Keep doing what you need to do, no matter how you feel. Success is achieved by people who cannot give up regardless of their feelings and thoughts. Don’t let your feelings affect your actions.

20. Timing
As soon as you feel a different emotion, think before acting. Because emotional intelligence moves faster than rational intelligence, it can make you act irrationally and say unnecessary words.